As the school year draws near, I can picture all my teacher friends busily working away in classrooms with no a/c, purging things they didn't use last year even as they cart in the new supplies bought at the latest Teacher's Tools sale, hanging bulletin boards and rearranging desks. And y'all, I am jealous.
After fourteen years of teaching, eleven of which were spent in the same classroom, I resigned to stay at home with my sweet babies for a short time. The decision was made based on a host of reasons: the growing demands placed on teachers, the length of my days bleeding into difficult evenings with a toddler who I had to leave in childcare for 10+ hours a day, the coming of a new baby, the anticipated cost of childcare for two children instead of just one, which stood in glaring contrast to the salary that never seemed quite enough for the time I was spending with other mommas' babies. Add to all that the time required to pump for a nursing baby, a husband who works twelve-hour days 5-6 days a week, and on and on, and this momma just wasn't able to uphold the supermom persona.
I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision for myself and my family. I know that my children and husband will be blessed by my presence in our home, and I know that not for one second will I ever regret the time...the precious, precious time...with my babies.
However, for a teacher whose heart is all tied up in knots of passion for the education of children, there are moments of every day when I feel melancholy over the decision I've made. I truly and deeply love what I do with a passion that is only matched by my passion for my own children.
So, for all you teachers our there who are rolling your eyes as you sit through yet another staff development day when you have SO...MUCH...TO...DO...I gift you with this list of things I'm already missing about being a teacher. Nothing like a role change to put things in perspective.
1) I miss my teacher friends. I have complained more than once over the years about the henhouse that is a school. Teaching in a building full of women is hard. It is drama-filled, gossip-filled, and sometimes more than a tomgirl can take. But oh girls, what I would give right now for a whispered conversation in the hallway, a bitch session behind a closed door, a one hour lunch with like-minded peers...even just one moment with my cackling, ridiculous, amazing teacher friends. High schoolish gossip and drama aside, you will never find support, love, fellowship, and plain old female greatness the likes of which you find within the walls of a school. (And there's also a greatness to be found in the very few men who are brave enough to grace those same halls with their presence and tolerate the estrogen levels in the air.)
2) I miss putting together my classroom. Sweaty hours spent in a musty classroom...oh how I miss thee. One of my favorite things about teaching is getting to start over every year. Transitioning my classroom from a blank canvas to a purposeful learning environment is one of my greatest prides. And no teacher can deny the euphoria brought on by an hour or few in a teacher supply store. Stacking bins or Sharpies, anyone???
3) I miss professional development days. I know, I know, you're all rolling your eyes at me...and the presenter to whom you're supposed to be attending as you read my blog. I know. You know it already. You've heard it before. You have SO MANY OTHER THINGS that need your attention and time right now! But girls, there is an emptiness in me as I think of you walking into that common area (most likely the library) for the first day back, and you hug each other's necks, chat about your summer travels, and show pictures of your babies. Embrace that time, and remember that even though you know it already, you've heard it before, and you have so many other things to do, much of the purpose is in the fellowship.
4) I miss the kids. Of course, the greatness of being at home with my own sweet babes far outweighs time spent with anyone else's kids. However, I already have a rapport with my own kids, and they have to love me. But as a teacher, every year for fourteen years, one of my favorite things has been finding fun ways to build rapport with a brand new group of kids. Learning their names, their quirks, their individual learning needs, their families, their hobbies, trying to reach those kids who don't want to be reached...those are the things that have kept me passionately engaged in the same position for eleven years.
5) I miss meetings. I know, you're thinking What Ever TF, she is so full of shit. But seriously, I almost cried at my last meeting at the end of the school year. Because no matter how many times I've complained about a meeting consuming the time I could have spent planning or grading papers, it was time spent in the presence of other great teachers, upon whom I was blessed to sharpen myself. I will miss those precious moments of intellectual stimulation. And the snacks. I'll also miss the snacks.
6) I miss lesson plans. During my time at home, I'll be blessed to teach music part time, and I'm thankful that lessons are provided for me, because frankly, I'm just tired. However, there is almost nothing that makes me feel more accomplished as an educator than creating an amazing, engaging, differentiated lesson to accompany whatever skill needs to be taught. Seriously, if you can make 'main idea' fun, you're pretty awesome.
Now, in the spirit of fairness and keeping it real, these are some things I will NOT miss. I will NOT miss grading papers, administering standardized tests, analyzing standardized testing data, tutoring kids based on standardized testing data to improve areas of weakness rather than enriching areas of strength, 10+ hour days, feeling incapable of balance, watching kids get away with a bunch of ridiculousness without penalty, having limited ownership of my time.
I will NOT miss those things.
But being a public school classroom teacher...THAT I will miss.
